“Dating Is A New Avenue For Nigerian Girls To Make Money”— Nigerian Male Youths Lament
Gone are the days where a guy would just walk up to a girl, confess his feelings, and she would accept him if she loves him. These days, girls don’t even have to fall in love with a guy before they date each other, because he has enough money to take care of her. Some Nigerian girls these days just believe that men owe them a responsibility of taking care of them.
Over the recent years, a lot of Nigerian male youths have voiced out a trending question that’s all the rave both online and offline: “Is dating now, supposed to be a source of income for girls?” From Twitter to Instagram, to Facebook, to WhatsApp, these questions have been on rampage, and the frustration is clear. Male Youths in Nigeria are now wondering if love has now turned into a financial transaction, and why only girls are benefiting from it.
They feel that girls are exploiting their partners, and no reason whatsoever should be given to use dating as a source of income.
But why are girls these days into money than love?
To be honest, some girls have been given the mentality, right from when they were growing up, that getting through to a rich man is all they need. In Nigeria, once a girl finds a rich man, she’s automatically a blessing to her family. And that is because they believe that the rich man can rescue them from poverty.
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They’ve been told in their homes, that loving a poor man is not right, because a poor man has nothing to suffer. So with this, they believe that if a man truly loves them, he will spend on them. They now measure wealth based on financial capabilities.
Another reason is the current economic state. It has made girls develop the mentality that a relationship should be give and take. And that give and take is that they give you the man their body, and you spend on them. To them it’s kind of like a fair bargain.
Young men still hold on to the tradition of a man being the bread winner of the household, and try their best to provide. But with the situation of the economy, the outcome of hustles come out slow. Here’s what some men when interviewed about this whole issue, had to say about it:
Samuel, a 25-year-old corp member serving in Lagos. “I earn ₦77,000 monthly. With the way the economy is, I have expenses piling up, especially family expenses, my girlfriend still expects weekly dates, data subscription, and monthly ‘baby girl’ money. I’ve had to borrow from my friends, lots of times just to keep up, so she doesn’t break up with me.” He shares.
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Chijioke, a 28-year-old graphics designer, puts it even more bluntly: “These days, dating feels like applying for a loan you’re not sure will be approved. You invest so much, and if it doesn’t work out, you’re left broke and heartbroken.”
David, a 24 year old polytechnic graduate in Nigeria shares, “I love my babe very much. That’s why I try my best to keep up with all her expenses. I pay her school fees, her house rent, I subscribe data for her phone, give her monthly allowance, even if I don’t have any more money left to eat, I do it all to make her happy. I try my best to make her happy, just so she doesn’t leave me for another man.”
Ayomide, a 30 year old engineer in Abuja shares, “I’m not saying that we men are trying to avoid responsibility. No in Africa, men take care of women. But it’s becoming too excessive, it now feels like an emotional tax. The fact that we would have to spend tirelessly on you, and ignore serious things is not fair. Please women.”
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After reading the views of some Nigerian men, this article will now give you a glimpse of what a healthy relationship looks like. Now my girl, you need to consider your babe, he’s trying his best. Here’s how to make sure your relationship is healthy.
What Healthy Relationships Should Look Like (From Both Sides)
A healthy relationship isn’t built on bank transfers. It’s built on:
•Both partners should breed mutual respect for each other, not one sided.
•Both of you should always be there for each other. Support your partner, be it emotionally, or even financially.
•If you want a happy relationship, you should share the responsibilities. Both parties should contribute, be it emotionally, physically, or financially.
And to the men, dating within your financial level is very important. Do not show off just to impress her, when you clearly can’t afford that kind of a life.
But in conclusion, dating shouldn’t be only about money. Love costs time, energy, care, patience, and not your entire paycheck. Dating shouldn’t be a source of income. It is advised that before one begins to date, you have to get to know your partner very well. So tread with caution Nigerian guys.
Date who you love, and not who you can afford.
